How not to impress a new partner
Rebecca McCosh reveals the top 10 ways people have tried and failed to impress a new partner.
‘Just be yourself’. It sounds simple but apparently these wise words go straight out of the window when we’re trying to impress a new partner. That’s according to the latest research anyway. A new survey of 1,323 UK men commissioned by online dating platform, EliteSingles, found more than half have changed their behaviour or views to impress a new partner.
And we’re not just talking a little light behaviour modification. We mean a full-blown personality transplant in some cases.
However, the research also revealed the average respondent could only maintain the façade for seven weeks before slipping back into their usual habits, and one in seven admitted that doing something to impress their partner at the start of a relationship had come back to haunt them.
So, what’s the lesson to be learned from all this? Basically, don’t do any of the below. Based on the survey, here are 10 of our favourite ways people have tried (and failed) to impress a new partner…
10. Cycle to work
Because nothing impresses a new partner quite like fluorescent Lycra, saddle sores and chaffing, right? Wrong.
9. Buy an entire new wardrobe of clothes
Ok, so it’s probably not a good idea to rock up to your first date in your favourite sweat pants and band t-shirt, but there’s no need to completely reinvent your look.
8. Pretend to be vegan
We applaud anyone that has the willpower to survive on nothing but kale juice and quinoa but how long before you cave and sink your teeth into a double cheeseburger?
7. Enroll in yoga sessions
It’s just posing and breathing, how hard can it be? Actually, it’s pretty hard.
6. Write poetry
On paper this sounds like a sure-fire way to win someone’s heart, but in practise it’s difficult to come up with lines that don’t sound like the lyrics of a cheesy ‘80s power ballad.
5. Claim to like cats
It can be tricky to pretend to like Tiddles when your clothes are covered in cat hair and he’s bringing you out in hives. Best just ‘fess up early on.
4. Pretend not to like sci-fi
You could pack away those collector’s Star Trek toys and first edition comic books, or you could pass it off as ‘geek chic’.
3. Raise money for charity
This one is sure to impress, but one you’ve completed the 5k run they’ll be expecting you to up the ante for your next challenge. Before you know it, you’ll be abseiling, scuba diving and sky diving, like it or not.
2. Feign an interest in politics
Be careful with this one – do you really want a Brexit debate so early in your relationship?
1. Manscape
Not sure what ‘manscaping’ is? How do we put this politely...? Manscaping is the practise of grooming one’s intimate body hair so as to appear less ape-like. To put it bluntly, it’s a back, sack and crack job. We're not sure blistering red rashes are any less unsightly than body hair though.