We Need To Talk: Breaking the stigma around mental health
Blending banter with heartfelt discussion about masculinity and mental health could literally save lives says Carine Seitz
When Scott Hutchison’s body was discovered in Port Edgar last year, there was one question on everyone’s lips – why? 36 years old and the frontman of an internationally successful band, it seemed that Scott had everything to live for. But the Frightened Rabbit singer had struggled with anxiety and depression for years before he took his own life. His tragic death broadened the conversation around men’s mental health in Scotland, but the stigma that exists for a lot of men is still very real. Speaking to NME, Scott himself had once said: “I hate the idea that opening up is emasculating. It’s good to lay yourself bare, you’ll feel better for it. But I don’t think we’re all the way there yet.”
It's good to lay yourself bare. You'll feel better for it
He is of course, right. We have a long way to go. While discussion around mental health might be more widespread than ever, the tone continues to be overwhelmingly feminine, middle class, and assumes that all those affected can relate. How does this speak to men for whom pub banter over a football game is the closest they get to sharing emotion?
Scottish footballer David Cox has talked publicly about his history of depression, self-harm and suicide attempts. Despite being taunted by rival fans and players - “I [once] heard a fan shout ‘away and hang yourself and do it right this time’ - David feels it’s important to speak out. “[When you’re suicidal] you don’t think about anything else other than how you’re feeling. It’s the loneliest place you could ever imagine. I used to wake up every day and think about how to end my life”. In a survey carried out by the Professional Footballers Association, 64 per cent of professional players in Scotland said they or a teammate had struggled with mental health issues.
And the bigger picture is even more alarming - according to Mental Health Aberdeen, suicide accounts for 75 per cent of deaths in men under 40, and over 1-in-3 Scottish men have experienced suicidal thoughts. While difficult to absorb, these staggering statistics cannot be ignored.
Mental health issues facing men can range from stress and anxiety triggered by the mundanity of modern life: financial worries, relationship woes, loneliness; to difficulties expressing emotion, or issues around drink and drugs; to complex behaviours formed in childhood, and hardwired chemical imbalances. Women are generally taught as girls to share their feelings, while little boys are told that big boys don’t cry, and real men man up.
Speaking on the launch of his family’s charity Tiny Changes, Scott Hutchison’s brother and bandmate, Grant, emphasised how important it is to open up the conversation around mental health at a young age. “Scott suffered all through his life with anxiety and depression and spoke often about his own struggles as an anxious child, which is the reason behind the band name Frightened Rabbit,” Grant explains. “This is why we feel it is important to focus our attentions on young people and use a preventive approach, rather than attempting to fix a problem that has already taken hold in a person’s life.”
One woman who will no doubt understand this mission is Edinburgh mum Laura Nolan who lost her teenage son Josh in 2013 when he took his own life. “He was dyslexic and found it hard to concentrate which got him into trouble quite a lot,” she says. “He started experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and the real problems began. I felt completely helpless”. Believing it is possible to prevent every suicide, Laura’s charity, The Joshua Nolan Foundation, gives access for anyone in need to counselling from therapists trained in suicide prevention, hosts classroom workshops to get kids talking and aims to promote awareness of mental health wellbeing to all ages and genders.
Daniel Proverbs, the founder of Glasgow-based charity Brothers in Arms, knows what it’s like to be a teen struggling to cope. “My journey with mental health started as a teenager. But 15 years ago, just after the birth of my first daughter, I planned and attempted to take my own life,” he says. This was a turning point for Daniel when he realized life was for living and now he’s hoping he can turn the tide for other men feeling overwhelmed and unable to reach out. “Brothers in Arms is a safe place for men, a place we can call our own, it’s an online community which aims to raise awareness that being silent is not being strong,” explains Daniel. As well as offering advice and live coaching through their Brothers-Thrive app, they have recently launched a free suicide prevention app Brother-StayAlive designed for men having suicidal thoughts or those concerned about a friend or family member. And in a new partnership with City of Glasgow College, the charity offers support to students in weekly lunchtime sessions on campus aiming to challenge the culture that prevents men seeking help when they need it.
Girls are taught to share their feelings while little boys are told that big boys don't cry and real men man up
Conversation is also the cornerstone of a project called The Changing Room hosted at Hibs’ football stadium, where men are encouraged to talk openly about everything from the off-side rule to – crucially – issues causing them distress. “It’s about bringing guys together. We’re providing space where they can have banter, but also be open and address any mental health issues or challenges they may be facing,” says manager Christopher Nicolson. A similar ethos can be found at Andy’s Man Clubs, where the slogan is “It’s Ok To Talk”, via group sessions in Dunfermline, Dundee and Perth. “Founder Luke Ambler, a former rugby league pro, started the club in 2016 when his brother-in-law took his own life. “Our goal is to halve the male suicide rate in this country,” he says. “We’re trying to save lives.”
Another public figure who has recently opened up about his own mental health struggles and substance abuse is comedian Tony Slattery, who started out at the Edinburgh Fringe before becoming a household name on Whose Line Is It Anyway in the ’90s. But then he seemed to just disappear. What actually happened was a massive breakdown which left Slattery alternating between ‘terrible isolationism and an almost comatose state’ before being hospitalised and finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. “The manic part of me was not because of the drugs and alcohol. I think it was there already. But the drugs and alcohol certainly ignited it,” he says.
After 15 years in obscurity, Slattery will return to the stage at this year’s Fringe but does this mean he is all better? Not by a long shot. “There have been times when I’ve thought: ‘I can’t go on stage, I need that half bottle of vodka right now.’ I’m getting better, but there’s still some way to go.” Here’s hoping that speaking out is another part of the process which could help the troubled comedian – or those who will hear his story and relate. It’s good to talk.